THIS PAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PICPAL.COM THE PICTURE PALACE
Evasive Action | Mitch Pileggi Pages | X-Files On Tape | PicPal
Oddly enough, skeptics seem to assume that the sheer popularity of The X-Files somehow carries with it a responsibility that CSICOP itself has failed to shoulder completely: to provide a mass audience with a remedial science education. Why they demand as much from a form of entertainment they most readily criticize as being least capable of delivering that very thing (whew) is the sort of conundrum semi-pro debunkers find so hard to recognize and appreciate. Odder still, their sense of alarm is always expressed in terms of mysterious folks who "believe" the stories on this show are "real." Such people are never identified by name or gender or specified in numbers, or placed in any context except the vaguest outer reaches of cyberspace which no one I've met has ever explored. Even their generically cited "credulous friends" may only be rhetorical devices rather than real people; considering how little patience a skeptic tends to have, even for the mere mention of such needy personalities.
The bizarre self-indulgence of this subculture was typified by a broadly-built woman of a certain age (adorned quite perversely with a New Age styled amethyst quartz crystal), who held forth at the press luncheon about the X blight and the newest lather of UFOria it has apparently created. A newsman and I, seated next to her, brought up the wonderfully intricate episode "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose," that starred Peter Boyle as the title character. Bruckman is an impressionistic - you might say partially psychic - insurance salesman, doomed to an end classically describable as Shakespearean - the inevitable result of his fatal inner flaw. Not only is this "real" psychic in no enviable position, the "fake" one in the episode is none other than X's hilarious lampoon The Stupendous Yappi, as played by Jaap Broeker. My own addition to the conversation was an unavoidable admission: The freestanding episodes in the series are of bathetically uneven quality. Even the hardcore fans will tell you as much. This was all news to our cheerful table neighbor. "If I'm going to complain about them I should at least watch one!" was her reply, to the best of my recollection. No one had a word to say to that. Gee whiz, I thought these skeptics were all for doing your homework...
I wound up drifting into a separate conversation with the aforementioned newsman, leaving the woman to her own devices. He concurred with my choice for all-time best line, delivered by Jim Rose while gesturing to David Duchovny (a sort of 90s Richard Gere) as Fox Mulder: "Can you imagine going through life looking like that?" No one else laughed with us. It's as hard to explain irony to these characters as it is to broach the subject of media savvy.
They were, of course, lucky to get Carter to grace the endless beige of their SUNY Buffalo/Amherst campus on the 21st of June - most likely because he had yet another new series to promote. This attraction for whatever reason did not strike them as something worth presenting to the media, since their press conference hardly mentioned him and Carter's special lunch cost an additional twenty odd bucks. It was held in a large open foyer with atrocious acoustics, forcing attendants to speak into hand mikes, with none provided for the guest questioners. On principle I refused to pay. I deserved what happened next: The genial civil librarian, whom I flummoxed into inexpertly recording the proceedings for me, presented me that afternoon with an appropriately X-ish tape. What follows is what I could tease out of the muffled roar, punctuated by the stifled coughs of my volunteer aide and the jolly if equally indistinct banter of his companions:
CARTER: ...I didn't realize that I was going to be eating lunch here, actually. When they told me they I was going to be "had for lunch" I was worried. And I'm anticipating some very tough questions here today but I feel that I should state my views and try to best explain why [INDISTINCT]... ...I'd like to read to you a letter sent to me just recently from a person who's a high school teacher. I think that this is what I anticipate will be the kind of question and certainly the sentiment that I'll be addressing here today. It says, "Dear Mr. Carter." This is a man [INDISTINCT]... ...University High School in San Francisco. It says, "Dear Mr. Carter. In just a few days you will be speaking before the World Skeptic Congress. The audience there at Amherst does not [INDISTINCT]... ...criticized as a key purveyor of antiskeptical, antiscientific [INDISTINCT]... ...irrational thinking [INDISTINCT]... ...television viewing public. They may argue that The X-Files is actually hurting people [INDISTINCT]... ...Carl Sagan [INDISTINCT]... ...and thereby be prepared for the skeptical onslaught at Amherst [INDISTINCT]... ...adopt these skeptics' point of view [INDISTINCT]... ...the delight in discovering how the universe is put together, the exhilaration of knowing anything well. I'm afraid that The X-Files in particular is helping [INDISTINCT]... ...least rational explanation [INDISTINCT]... ...I believe that in a sense you are hurting people. Our children [INDISTINCT]... ...at least deserve better. To that end I ask you to consider The Y-Files. [INDISTINCT]... ...presentation of a real scientific investigation into [INDISTINCT]... ...It needn't be expensive, either." [INDISTINCT]... ...Actually, I couldn't agree more. I believe that one of the things television should do is educate and I believe it doesn't do enough. But I'm here to tell you that I'm a dramatist. I agree with entertainment and I am unapologetic for that. [INDISTINCT]... ...a PhD, he got his degree in physics from Berkeley. [INDISTINCT]... ...in Washington, DC. [INDISTINCT]... ...because my brother was a great lover of science fiction as a kid. He read everything, all the science fiction [INDISTINCT]... ... even though he's not a great science fiction fan now it is what in fact made him want to be what he is. I believe in the same way The X-Files, even though it may not seem to some people that it's balanced [INDISTINCT]... ...anchor of science holding down the [INDISTINCT]... ...of Agent Mulder's need to believe. In other words [INDISTINCT]... ...if you're a fan of the show you know that in the very beginning, in the pilot episode that Agent Mulder, who plays the believer on the show, had a poster on his wall that said "I want to believe." And it didn't say, "I do believe," it didn't say, "This is all here, this is all true." He had a desire to believe. He wanted to find the truth that is out there. I believe [INDISTINCT]... ...that is very human that we all have. We [INDISTINCT]... ...open up the floor to questions [INDISTINCT]... ...I would like to ask for an adult male and female volunteer from the audience for a [INDISTINCT]... ...We need a male volunteer. [INDISTINCT]... ...play Agent Scully. [INDISTINCT]...
[The two read from a section of the pilot later in the presentation.]
CARTER: [INDISTINCT]... ...One reason I'm here is because I had a meeting with two people who have long been associated with this group, who are the magicians Penn and Teller. They came to my office and I had a very interesting meeting with these guys. They're very, very smart guys and very, very certain that there is nothing beyond the pale - that there is in fact nothing that science cannot explain. And I asked them if they believe in God and they said no, and do any scientists believe in God, and they said, "None of the important ones." I found that [INDISTINCT]... ...somehow very disturbing.
