Crime Prevention V02
Crime on the Farm (color), The Revolver (color), The Baton (color), Riot Prevention (color), Hit and Run Investigation (color), Questioning Drivers and Witnesses (b&w), Signals and Gestures in Traffic (b&w), Crime on the Streets (color)
Sick of crime? Watch this second VOLUME of Something Weird's Crime Prevention instructional series and take on the bad guys! Crime on the Farm (color): You think the city is bad? Try farm land! A prison inmate with 90210 sideburns waxes poetic about how easy it is to steal and pilfer from farmers. Then we meet Sheriff Dodge who suggests that putting serial numbers on everything will curb the crime explosion. Scary says, Quick! Hide those tractors! The Revolver (color): Ever wondered how the 5-0 learn to shoot guns so good? This film illustrates the painstaking efforts that ChiPs take in training their grunts in the finer art of pistol swinging. This picture is truly worth a thousand bullets. Scary says, Please don't let any bad guys see this movie! The Baton (color): The only thing more important than a gun to a policeman is his baton. SID DAVIS and the boys drink some coffee, smoke some butts, then get down to some serious business in this very hardcore baton-wielding instructional. Treat it like a prologue to the next film. Scary says: Sid Davis deserves a Nobel Peace Prize! Riot Prevention (color): Civil disobedience. Yeah, right. Most protestors are looking for trouble, and what better way to combat troublesome threats than with The Baton. Proper training will ensure that The Baton is used as a peaceful weapon, akin to a light saber. Star Trek fans may note that the Police Chief's name is Walter Koenig. Scary says: Wired like barb, flash like lightning, etc.! Hit and Run Investigation (color): Sid Davis is back and he isn't very happy. Drivers have been side-swiping pedestrians and turning them into corpses. Who you gonna call? Trust that all law enforcement officers privy to this screen gem knew all the angles. Don't make eye contact, act like a machine, and you'll solve the crime easy as pie. Scary says: More by the book from Lord Davis! Questioning Drivers and Witnesses (b&w): Remember a time when a Police Force consisted of three grumpy old men? Nevertheless, behind every innocent-looking situation hovers an explosive threat ready to go off. When an accident occurs, someone's gotta grill the witnesses. Learn how and be a Hammer of the Law. Scary says, Relish those quiet years before Sid Davis started making police films! Signals and Gestures in Traffic (b&w): Traffic signals and gestures are explained in a calm, non-hurried fashion. Nice to see so much police time and effort spent on making sure all goes well at such peaceful intersections. Scary says: If only it ran this smooth at 10th and Crenshaw! Crime on the Streets (color): Grit with a capitol G. Not even Abel Ferrara made the streets look so depraved. Criminals lurk at every corner, just waiting to mug/beat/rape/kill and verbally abuse their victims. One terrifying sequence involves a couple hitchhiking to San Francisco; the boyfriend gets beaten to a pulp and thrown into the sea, the girlfriend gets gang-raped. Advice given? Use your head. (Thanks!) Also includes a cameo by a baby-faced CHUCK NORRIS. Really. Scary says: Hide your daughters and lock up the booze, crime is on the street! Scary Ed
Code: SW7426 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

DAMAGED LIVES

1933 A guy breaks a date with his fiancee and finds himself having a fling with another gal. The next day he confesses everything to his beloved. There s just one problem: the woman he slept with had V.D. When the woman confronts him with this fact he refuses to believe her. So--with typical 30s female screen logic--she shoots herself. They just don t write em like this anymore. A camp classic!
Code: X086 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $19.99

Health and Safety V01
Live and Learn (1956, b&w), Help Wanted (1950, b&w), Dick Wakes Up (color), Primary Safety in the School (color), First Aid on the Spot, Bleeding and Bandaging
Think you can get through the rest of the day without death or dismemberment? Think again. Better yet, watch this first VOLUME of our Health and Safety series and hope you make it through alive... Live and Learn (1956, b&w): Another video nasty from social storm trooper SID DAVIS. Ever wonder why so many kids hurt themselves? More importantly, ever wondered what it looks like? Here we have kids impaling themselves on scissors, burning their faces off, falling off cliffs and rooftops, and shooting B-B gun pellets into each other's eyes, complete with all the glory and gore (and more!) you have come to expect from a Sid Davis production: low-budget noirish photography, non-stop narration, and more moralizing then a million angry preachers. Enjoy. Scary says: You know it makes sense! Help Wanted (1950, b&w): Did you know that bleeding is unhealthy? If you came upon someone gushing blood, would you know what to do? Scary body animation in a Jam Handy style highlights the 3 important lessons: Know what to look for, know what to do, and know how to do it. Got that? Psychedelic demonstrations of compressing respiration (ya-hoo!) enliven the steady flow of medical mumbo-jumbo. Save your med-school bucks and invest in Help Wanted instead. Scary says: Arterial bleeding is not very nice! Dick Wakes Up (color): Screeching tires turn into wailing ambulance sirens as dumb boy Dick crosses the road too quick. While in the hospital, Dick's subconscious appears to him in the form of two mini-Dicks. One is his Good Judgement (Call me Judge!), the other his Bad Impulse (We've had some grand times together!). The incident is crossexamined and all the Dicks come to the conclusion that playing baseball on the street just isn't a very good idea. Scary says: Don't be a dick! Primary Safety in the School (color): Okay kids, today we're going to play a game! Little Bill will be safety patrol captain, and if he sees you doing something dangerous, he will wave his unhappy face sign! Now make sure your shoelaces are tied, your pencils are pointed down, and you don't push. See! Isn't this fun? Don't you want to be just like little Bill? Scary says: Walk, don't run! First Aid on the Spot: Treatment of Shock (1960's, b&w): Are you a good Samaritan? Do you want to be one? Do you know first aid? This grisly little film scares us into seeking proper Red Cross training so that we too can be good Samaritans and be able to stem bleeding arterial wounds when the time is right. Scary says: Shocking! Bleeding and Bandaging (1960's, color): Looks like someone has dropped a nail bomb on a construction site. Bleeding bodies are lying around but there's no one to help. Well, this film will show you what to do. If you see bright red blood gushing from a wound, then admit there's a problem. If you don't have a cloth, then just use your hand to cup the wound. The usual close-ups of gushing bloody wounds are compounded by scenes of injured children, seemingly to guilt us into paying attention. It works. Scary says: There is nothing to say! Scary Ed
Code: SW7408 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Health and Safety V02
Hazard House (1950's, color), Color of Danger (color), Penelope Changes Her Mind (1958, color), Careless Carl Walks to School (color), Post Mortem (1967, color), Health In Our Community (1959, color), Fractures and Splinting (1950s, color), Men, Steel and Earthquakes (1958, color)
You may have survived VOLUME 1 of SWV's Health and Safety series but as this second VOLUME shows, there's still a million ways you could die in the next five minutes. Watch and worry with the following truly scary shorts: Hazard House (1950's, color): Would you want your child to get covered in hot oil? How about being electrocuted by loose wires? Or choking on poison? Ma and Pa Atomic soon realize that their dream home is nothing more than another hazard house in the making! Scary says: Ma and Pa: dukes of hazard! Color of Danger (color): Just because your wife left you and you got in a car accident on the way to work doesn't give you the right to have a bad attitude while operating a fork lift. Broken legs, squashed eyes, and death are just a few examples of how nasty a fork lift accident can be. Scary says: The color of danger is red! Penelope Changes Her Mind (1958, color): A concerned narrator instructs Penelope in the science of fire: Matches are a demon! Penelope's little brother, Timmy, speaks backwards and is clearly a pyro in the making. Crudely animated and highly bizarre. Scary says: Looney tunes for the firestarter set! Careless Carl Walks to School (color): Standard street crossing techniques are reviewed by showing us Carl's walk to school. He almost gets hit by a car, then a school bus. Suddenly we are thrust into the world of bicycle safety do's and don'ts. Three narrators, no continuity. It is our firm belief that whatever ChiP was in charge of this film was abusing hard narcotics. Scary says: Dippy ChiPs! Post Mortem (1967, color): John Long. Age 37. You might recognize him if you saw his face. But we can't show you his face because he no longer has one. Ouch. And so begins the deconstruction of John Long's spiral into facelessness by driving home after popping some little red pills. Scary says: Pill popping, hod rodding! Health In Our Community (1959, color): Betty has the measles. Her visit to the hospital serves as a launching pad for the kindly narrator to wax poetic about the Department of Health. They are likened to an army battling disease by ensuring that germs and disease don't spoil everyone's fun. A simulated epidemic breaks out, and the town is put under quarantine. Hell ensues. Scary says: Always wash your hands! Fractures and Splinting (1950s, color): When disaster strikes and all the doctors are busy (or dead), make sure you have this film on standby. It graphically educates in the art of dressing fractures and splinting broken bones. Watch as a little girl with a broken jaw is given her mother's scarf as a makeshift bandage. Make sure the bandage is tight or she might choke to death on her own blood. And it gets worse. The real question this film raises is what disaster has struck? Nuclear war? Earthquake? Alien invasion? They never tell us.... Scary says: Duck and cover! Men, Steel and Earthquakes (1958, color): Cue goofy music. Cue narration on man's continued interest in building structures. Cue earthquake footage (real and re-created). Cue frenzy. Cue history of horrific earthquakes. Cue dwelling on children trapped in fallen schoolhouses. Cue narration on earthquake preparedness. Cue the answer to the problem: Steel. Scary says: Best title ever. Ever! Scary Ed
Code: SW7409 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Health and Safety V03
Crimes of Carelessness (b&w), Safe Driving (b&w), Truck Drivers: Under the Gun (b&w), From Fear to Freedom (color), Rural Rat Control (b&w), Transportation of the Sick and Injured (color), Theobold Faces the Facts (color), A Crutch for All Seasons (color)
Danger continues to lurk all about you. Watch this third VOLUME of Health and Safety shorts, then start planning your funeral... Crimes of Carelessness (b&w): A booming narrator yells some stats at us: 10,000 killed in peace time year! 40,000 injured in peace time year! He's talking about fire! Fire caused by people smoking cigarettes while operating machinery! Fire caused by kids putting lit matches in their mouths! Appalling acts of death and destruction! Scary says: Smoking in bed guarantees you'll never have to wake up again! Safe Driving (b&w): A couple of grumpy geezers start yapping about the war, but they're not talking about the war, they're talking about the war on tires. As far as they're concerned, War has been declared!And you know what that means: The gas station is the front line and the attendant is involved in day to day trench warfare! Scary says: Wheels of Insanity! Truck Drivers: Under the Gun (b&w): A hard-boiled reporter is as angry as a hornet about the state of truck driving. Something's gotta be done about these animals driving their trucks like tanks! His editor tells him to take no prisoners and expose the menace. Bottom line? Kneel before the power of the truck! Scary says: Maximum Overdrive! From Fear to Freedom (color): Blind man. Guide dog. Irony begging to be stated: This film was made for blind people. In color no less. Scary says: Bow Wow Wow! Rural Rat Control (b&w): This classic Federal Agricultural gem came with the following catalogue description: Shows rats on the farm eating everything they want. Shows how to stop them in a no-nonsense fashion. Shows how to poison them. Shows poisoned rats slowly dying. Shows rat exterminators hard at work fighting rats. Nuff said. Scary says: Always look on the bright side of life! Transportation of the Sick and Injured (color): Yes, it's another horrific Disaster Aftermath training film. If you've graduated from Fractures and Splinting, Shock, and Bleeding and Wounds (on Volumes 1 and 2) then you're ready for this next logical piece of the gory puzzle. But don't get too close to the screen because that red blood is straight-up hypnotic. Scary says: Fly in the face of disaster! Theobold Faces the Facts (color): Animated lesson in just how lousy we behave when intoxicated on alcohol. The usual hard facts are trotted out, alongside those beautiful generalizations and oversimplifications that bring tears to the eye. The catch? Sci-Fi setting and sound effects straight from Irwin Allen's record box. Scary says, Professor Kitzel versus Hooch! A Crutch for All Seasons (color): A weed party goes awry when Billy starts smacking his girl around! A bloody car accident ends a fun drinking binge! While high on heroin, a gas attendant cuts the breaks on a buggy and it roars off a cliff! This film was deemed unacceptable by the National Coordinating Council on Drug Education: The characters and the setting of the film seem unrealistic and over dramatized. The tone is too moralizing. Scary says: Peter Fonda was on the National Coordinating Council on Drug Education! Scary Ed
Code: SW7410 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Health and Safety V04
The Dangerous Stranger, The Joker, Reward Unlimited, Who Cares About Jamie?, An Outbreak of Staphylococcus Intoxication, The Skeleton, Community Fly Control Operations
Pedophiles, crushed limbs, vomiting, a plague of flies, and director Jacques Tourneur are all here in this fourth volume of our harrowing Health and Safety series which is so good it almost plays like a Health and Safety Greatest Hits! The Dangerous Stranger (b&w, 1950) is SID DAVIS' classic child molester short, financed (without credit) by no less a luminary than Mr. John Wayne himself! Policeman (and friend of kids) Jerry King tells us all about Strangers. You know, the kind who take little girls for a ride in their car, who approach boys in lonely alleys, who sit next to girls in movie theaters, and offer kiddies candy in the park. Of course, since this was made for children, there's no explanation of why these adults prey on kids, and gives the impression that grownups everywhere are just waiting to swoop down and pluck kids out of the playground. Why, even Policeman Jerry looks suspicious... So successful was this short that it started Sid Davis on a Classroom-ScareFilm career and a reputation as a man who could look at any topic and see nothing less than danger and death. The Joker (b&w/color) is a surreal gem which mixes special effects with steel-plant safety tips to give us HANS CONRIED (of The Twonky and 5000 Fingers of Dr. T) as an imp in full color running around an otherwise black & white world! You've heard of impossible accidents? He's the guy who makes them possible! Dressed like a court jester, Conried magically appears to various workers, gets their mind off their work, and causes accidents. All of which creates a grim tension between goofy comedy and men getting mangled, blinded, and crippled. Sponsored by United States Steel and, probably, Satan. Reward Unlimited (b&w, 1944) stars DOROTHY McGUIRE as a typical girl-nextdoor who becomes a nurse to aid our boys in World War II. A well-made inspirational short sponsored by the National Nursing Council for War Service, it's thoughtfully directed by JACQUES TOURNEUR, best known for Cat People ('42), I Walked with a Zombie ('43), and Curse of the Demon ('57). Who Cares About Jamie? (b&w, 1963) tries to nip mental illness in the bud by showing adults how to deal with kids. Like strange little Jamie. Not good: Jamie's mom freaking out when she finds he's stolen a can of oil. Very good: police officer WILLIAM KERWIN (Blood Feast) merely smiling when he sees Jamie about to eat a worm. I say, kill the little bastard. An Outbreak of Staphylococcus Intoxication (color) shows a community ravaged by nausea, throwing up, abdominal cramps, and diarrhea which can only mean one thing: bad eclairs! Yup, made by a baker with an infected finger! All of which is perversely scored by jovial, downright happy library music. The Skeleton (b&w) features some cool X-ray shots of people in motion as it explains all about the various joints of dem bones. Finally, Community Fly Control Operations (b&w) shows how Jonesville declares a War on Flies by, basically, spraying chemicals everywhere. Remember, The Fly is Not Your Friend. Heeelp meee! Heeeeeelp meeee! - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7659 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Health and Safety V05
Fire and Your Hospital, Step Lightly, Pulse of Life, The Heart of Our City, Protection Factor 100, Heart Disease, Fire! Patty Learns What to Do
The world is waiting to kill, crush, and maim you. So prepare for the inevitable by watching this fifth volume of Health and Safety Scare Films and learn what to do when Bad News comes knocking at your door! Fire and Your Hospital (b&w): Freaky warning of how many fire hazards and potential disasters await your stay at a hospital: Within its walls, so many fire hazards! As if there wasn't enough to worry you, now you know that dumb waiters are ticking time bombs, and that the whole place could go up in smoke at any minute. And probably will! Best moment: evacuating a patient who's dragged across the floor, and another carried across a nurse's back! And, for God's sake, lady, learn how to use that fire extinguisher! Scary says, Rx for Explosives! Step Lightly (color): Canadian spook show about pedestrian safety: One out of every five traffic casualties is a pedestrian! A deadly serious narrator stands at the sight of a fatal accident while we see cars smash into crash-test dummies and cardboard human replicas. Most startling of all: cute Canadian girls showcase the latest in reflective fashion accessories which turn humans into glowing UFOs. Scary says, Stepper's delight! Pulse of Life (color): Grim First Aid instructional explaining all you need to know about Artificial Respiration, solemnly narrated by actor RAYMOND MASSEY (Things to Come), is heavy on brass and light on laughs. Lots of closeups of pounding hearts and bodies in deep trouble along with white-coated doctors giving naughty-looking CPR to a sexy lifelike female mannequin. Photography by VILMOS ZSIGMOND (Kiss Me Quick, Close Encounters). Scary says, CPR erotica! The Heart of Our City (color): Good children are the Heart of the City, but they need our help. Even delinquent juveniles need our help to dispel the nightmares, the mental quirks, the fierce, dangerous resentments. The power to help knows no boundaries, and this odd little Red Cross feel-good picture will have you tingling all over with its talk of pajama parties, Boy Scouts, and psychological meltdowns. Give them your blood now, please. Scary says, Bloody weird! Protection Factor 100 (b&w): Civil Defense toughie which goes to great lengths to suggest that if more bomb shelters are built, more people will survive an atomic attack. What makes it all so terrifying is the almost casual acceptance that an atomic attack is damn inevitable. Scary says, Song for shelter! Heart Disease (b&w): Somber heart disease movie which focuses on high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, and rheumatic fever. X-rays, gruesome dissections, and groovy body animation do little to curb the distressing subject matter, so save that steak for the next film. Scary says, Salad, anyone? Fire! Patty Learns What to Do(color): Captain Clemens leads a fire drill at Patty's school. He also shows kids the right way to light matches (!), sets fire to a doll on a stick, and asks Patty to relive the traumatic details of a forest fire that devastated much of the countryside - all in vibrant color to oddly cheerful narration. Scary says, Should Captain Clemens really be allowed near children? - Scary Ed
Code: SW7742 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Juvenile Delinquent Scare Films V01
The Culture of Delinquency, The Gang, The Story of Nora (b&w)
As those teenage punks were taking control of our streets, the authorities in Chicago took matters into their own via a series of filmed TV programs entitled Searchlights on Delinquency. These b&w 1950's shorts, individually titled The Culture of Delinquency and The Gang, are hosted by pudgy, bespectacled Sheriff JOSEPH LOHMAN from the Sheriff's Office of Cook County, Illinois, who wonders about the tragedies that may occur when some ruffian breaks a pop bottle and goes to injure another during a heated dice game. Utilizing stats, charts, and an unwavering monotone drone, Lohman illustrates his point that all kids are bad apples, rotten to the core. We even see obviously staged footage of juvies in action, using their learned, acquired skills of jackrolling innocents and throwing laundry at windows. To further probe the criminal mind, Lohman chats with juvenile delinquent experts DR. LLOYD OLAN and DR. LEONARD Z. BREEN, while Captain RICHARD BOONE interviews reformed but not at all ashamed gang members about their exploits. To hide their identities, the ex-gangbangers wear a cheap and eerie disguise that resembles what you might get if you wore a bedtime beauty mask with a Kleenex attached to it. This headgear is so unnervingly creepy that you don't pay attention to a lick of what the kids say. Another scenario shows the mortal danger of a gang initiation, as the new kid in the neighborhood is forced to walk across a 12-foot wall while the others pelt him with stones. Stupid, yes, but much less harmful than, say, raping sorority girls or shooting at drivers who dare flash their headlights. After an hour of Lohman, we are told The Story of Nora (b&w), a mixed-up lulu of a 15-year-old with slanted lips. She tells her 23-year-old suitor that she's really 18 so that he'll take her to a swingin' party. Her ruse might have worked had she not started talking enthusiastically about the upcoming Sadie Hawkins Dance at school. Returning home at 3 a.m., she is greeted with stern looks from her parents who ground her for a month. Nora lashes out with tantrums, smoking in her room, and performing seizure dances in front of Mom, before landing in juvy hall. When Mom comes to visit, the counselor tells her what a mean, uptight bitch she is... in so many words, at least. So skip school, throw rocks, say swear words, and you're ready for an afternoon of nice, nostalgic video delinquency! Rod Lott, Hitch magazine
Code: SW6116 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Lifestyles U.S.A. V01
To New Horizons (1940, color), Leave It to Roll-Oh (1940, b&w), Design for Dreaming (1956, color), American Look (1958, color), American Thrift (1962, color), Billboards U.S.A., Extra (1937, b&w), Our Community (1952, b&w), U.S.A. Today
What makes America great? Why, business, of course! And as the following time capsule proves, a Good American is a Good Consumer! All we have to do is put our faith in American Industry and Everything Will Be Fiiiiiiine... To New Horizons (1940, color) shows us The Future which officially began at the 1939 World's Fair with a filmed version of General Motors' Futurama exhibit. The greater and better World of Tomorrow specifically 1960 offers us Metropolis-like quarter-mile-high skyscrapers (complete with landing decks for auto-gyros), elevated sidewalks, traffic controlled by automatic radio, and an absence of undesirable slum areas. Oops! We missed the future! Leave It to Roll-Oh (1940, b&w) shows us a futuristic chromium-plated butler which looks like a big clunky robot right out of a Republic serial. The perfect housewife's helper, Roll-Oh waters the plants, vacuums with his feet, and makes dinner. He's also symbolic of the many robot-like mechanical devices which make life in 1940 hum. Three cheers for technology! Design for Dreaming (1956, color) gives us another glimpse of the future with a stylized, MGM-like musical in which a woman flies out of her bedroom, visits the Kitchen of the Future (full of Push-Button Magic!), then gets behind the wheel of one of General Motors' Dream Cars of Tomorrow: the turbo-powered Firebird II. Designed for the electronic highway of the future, the car takes our heroine along a nighttime highway straight out of The Jetsons! American Look (1958, color) is a Technicolor ode to modern design, so stylistically up to the minute that it all looks like... well, 1958. The flowing lines and graceful shapes of everything from tables and chairs to toasters and playpens all lead to America's greatest achievement in functional form: the '59 Chevy Impala! American Thrift (1962, color) is a Tribute to the American Woman as the ultimate buying machine. With supermarkets aplenty and housewives controlling the purse strings, the female consumer can enjoy the romance, the adventure of buying ballpoint pens, Campbell soup, and canned eel! Billboards U.S.A. (1940's, color) explains all about those big, glamorous poster panels at scientifically-planned locations hawking Swan soap, Piper's Donuts, Good Luck margarine, and Marvels cigarettes! Extra (1937, b&w) is a plug for Esso gasoline complete with singing gas jockeys and an Esso sign that turns into a scary smiling face. Our Community (1952, b&w) shows the variety of jobs in an average American town: baker, cab driver, police officer, Howdy Doody, doctor wait!? Howdy Doody?! Yup, there he is, bobbing on his little strings in the local TV studio. Gee, wasn't there a famous puppet living in your community? U.S.A. Today Expanding Horizons in Basic Transportation (1954, color) somehow equates the splendor of America with the trucking industry, and makes absolutely no mention of traffic jams, air pollution, or amphetamines. God bless America! Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7435 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Lifestyles U.S.A. V02
Mainline U.S.A. (1955, color), Adventure in Home Decor (1958, color), Know Your Customer (1958, color), The Correct Thing (1951, b&w), Speech: The Function of Gestures (1950, b&w), Finding the Right Job (1954, b&w), Opportunity, U.S.A. (1952, b&w), A Day of Thanksgiving (1951, b&w)
How do you define America?As this second VOLUME of our Lifestyles U.S.A. series clearly shows, it's a combination of railroads, investment bankers, office manners, correct public speaking, Thanksgiving, and Formica. Mainline U.S.A. (1955, color) isn't about shooting heroin but, rather, a celebration of choo-choo trains sponsored by The Association of American Railroads: the strong throbbing rhythm that is the pulse of a mighty nation! With enthusiastic narration by ART GILMORE and everything from cargo trains to modern passenger cars (the last word in streamlined comfort and spaciousness), this Casey Jones classic makes midfifties America look like one big giant Lionel Train set. Adventure in Home Decor (1958, color) finds a happy housewife (A delightful creature of many moods!) touring the wonderful world of laminated plastic by gliding through stylized sets showing the glitz and glamour of Formica kitchens! Formica bathrooms! Formica bedrooms! Formica living rooms! Formica refreshment centers! It's elegance with a purpose and the most sensible product material to use all over your house! Hell, let's start wearing Formica! Know Your Customer (1958, color), sponsored by Du Pont Petroleum, is a cartoon primer on how to run the perfect gas station. Just remember to use patience when dealing with women and, for God's sake, keep those restrooms clean! The Correct Thing (1951, b&w) is all about office etiquette for the smart modern miss. With ELINOR AMES as inspiration (and produced by New York's WPIX TV), this film provides tips on behavior for the career-conscious working girl by contrasting a female version of Goofus and Gallant: smart Sally exudes efficiency, neatness, and impersonal friendliness, while bimbo Cora is always late, spends too much time with the company playboy, and hasn't yet learned that the office is no place to prove you're a ŒMiss Personality'! Speech: The Function of Gestures (1950, b&w), a Centron production from Lawrence, Kansas, shows how to be a good public speaker by contrasting boring (and bald) George, who puts audiences to sleep, with dynamic and slick John (hambone HERK HARVEY, the director and white-faced dead guy of the 1962 horror classic Carnival of Souls) who keeps audiences enthralled with his wild gesturing. The moral - the freedom of the body helps in freeing the mind is symbolized by cartoon animation of a man shaking hands with an arm growing out of his head. Finding the Right Job (1954, b&w) shows gung-ho DICK YORK (the first Darren of Bewitched) seeking a job in the radio business repairing radios, that is. When his first job interview proves a disaster, he quickly learns how to sell himself. Opportunity, U.S.A. (1952, b&w) sings the glories of banks, funds, stocks, securities, and bonds. It's exactly what you'd expect from a film sponsored by The Investment Bankers Association of America. C'mon, fork it over, buddy! A Day of Thanksgiving (1951, b&w), another Centron short, offers us a family who can't afford a turkey for Thanksgiving. Rather than being bummed, they give thanks for being citizens of the greatest goddamn country on earth! Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7436 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Lifestyles U.S.A. V03
The Negro Farmer (1937, b&w), Born to Sell (1951, color), What Greater Gift (b&w), The Individual and the Job (1954, color), Tomorrow and Mr. Jones (1960, color)
Volume 3 of SWV's Lifestyles U.S.A. series features four lengthy shorts and one quick cartoon which spotlight various aspects of the American Dream, with two of the films centered around that all-purpose microcosm of America, the gas station. The Negro Farmer (1937, b&w), made by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, laments that most of the nine million Negroes in our Southern states live in near poverty on unproductive farms. However, rather than giving these farmers some much needed cash, the government instead made this film to help Negroes help themselves. Simply put, the problem of the Negro farmer is like the proverbial problem of lifting yourself by your own boot strap! With the mood set by lyrical shots of the deep south and Negro Melodies by the Tuskegee Institute Choir, The Negro Farmer discusses garden variety crops notably tobacco, peanuts, and cotton as well as poultry (There's profit in well-bred swine!), smokehouses (What is a home without a ham?), and home canning (These wellfilled shelves show what the energetic housewife can do toward providing the family living!), while providing glimpses of cotton gins, community fairs, and The Booker T. Washington Agricultural School on Wheels. As a final touch, we're shown how to improve outhouses and turn a cabin into a home to be proud of by the application of a few cents worth of lime whitewash. Born to Sell (1951, color) is a slick commercial for Triton oil disguised as a film about gung-ho Charlie learning to be a gas station attendant under the tutelage of born salesman Bill Horner. As Bill explains the Union Oil creed (Lesson #1: you've got to get under the hood! Lesson #2, know your product!), we see how an oil product is developed, witness the cute cartoon characters living inside your car's engine, and spot a number of Hollywood character actors like NOEL NEILL, LYLE TALBOT, and KING DONOVAN. Despite all the science and fancy words, you'll notice that Triton Motor Oil is ultimately advertised by a giant billboard of a woman's cleavage. What Greater Gift (b&w) is a feminine take on teaching sponsored by the National Education Association. Jenny yearns to be a teacher but her stubborn father (who says newfangled a lot) wants her to get practical and go into merchandising. An inspirational look at the days before students carried guns. The Individual and the Job (1954, color) pretends to be about gas station owner HUGH BEAUMONT (star of Leave It to Beaver and The Mole People) breaking in a new employee, but it's actually an elaborate commercial for various Texaco products. Sounding very much like the leader of a cult, the excessively anal, always smiling Mr. Beaumont is downright creepy as he obsessively discusses the Texamatic drain and refill and the cosmic importance of the dipstick. Finally, Tomorrow and Mr. Jones (1960, color) is a cartoon about investing in industry told entirely in rhyme: Why does John rate so from east coast to west? John Jones is a guy with some bucks to invest! Exactly the sort of thing that motivates people to part with their cash. Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7437 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Lifestyles U.S.A. V04
Legend of Kip Van Winkle (1951, b&w), Preface to a Life (1950, b&w), Planning Your Career (1953, b&w), Discipline Part 2: Reprimanding (1943, b&w), Speech: Using Your Voice (1950, b&w), Propaganda Techniques (1949, color), Seattle World's Fair (1962, color)
Inflation, neurotic parents, angry bosses, sloppy posture, Ronald Reagan, and the Space Needle are just part of the American Scene on display in this fourth VOLUME of our star-spangled series... Legend of Kip Van Winkle (1951, b&w) offers a twist on the famous legend as Kip Van Winkle, Rip's descendant, does some window shopping in his 1939 Hudson Valley town. A lawn mower costs $9.95. A can of paint, $2.35. A new shirt, $1.85. Content with life, Kip lies down in a field and falls asleep for 12 years! Waking in 1951 with a big long beard, Kip strolls through that same town appalled at how prices have soared. A lawn mower now costs $15.95! A can of paint, $4.25! A new shirt, $4.50! Your money is worth only one half of what it was twelve years ago, scolds DON AMECHE. You have been robbed of 50¢ of each of your dollars! Made for the National Association of Manufacturers, this one's an Americana classic! Preface to a Life (1950, b&w), on the other hand, is downright disturbing. Baby Michael is born to a loving couple who live in the picture postcard serenity of Small Town U.S.A. Unfortunately, something is quite wrong just below the surface. Though well meaning, Mom wants Michael to remain forever a child, while Dad wants so much for the kid that whatever he does is not good enough. The result: Michael grows up to be self-loathing, woman-hating, joyless semi-psycho DON MURRAY (Bus Stop)! Produced, no surprise, by the National Institute of Mental Health. Start cutting your wrists now! Planning Your Career (1953, b&w) makes choosing a profession so hilariously complicated that life as a penniless bum seems a far easier alternative. And, hey, anyone recognize the guy at the beginning who says, Won't you be afraid of the lions and the tigers? Yup, it's JEFFREY ALLEN twelve years before he became crazed Mayor Buckman of Two Thousand Maniacs! Discipline Part 2: Reprimanding (1943, b&w) will further scare anyone away from the workplace as various office workers are shown getting bawled out and humiliated by a series of Bosses from Hell. You'll notice that going postal is not considered a viable response. Speech: Using Your Voice (1950, b&w) and Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance (1949, b&w) are two more Centron shorts about proper public speaking that seem to love showing people doing it wrong. And yeah, HERK HARVEY, director and ghoul of Carnival of Souls, puts in a cameo (as does Carnival's landlady, FRANCES FEIST). Propaganda Techniques (1949, color) has the campaign director of a mayoral race instruct a high school student in the slimy art of bending, twisting, and altering the truth. This is immediately followed by still-just-an-ordinary-actor RONALD REAGAN ranting on about Chinese communists and certain lazy American lowlifes in an excerpt from The Ultimate Weapon (1955, b&w). Give 'em hell, Ron! Finally, spend a few pleasurable moments at the Seattle World's Fair (1962, color) in a charming short which has the feel of someone's home movies. Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7438 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Lifestyles U.S.A. V07
Bates 11th Back to School Promotion 1949, Cooking Steaks, Ticket to Freedom, Tests at Death Valley, Prevention, Tire That Changes Everything, Our Changing Family Life, The Greatest Show on Water
Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies, for bed sheets, steaks, Cypress Gardens, and U. S. Royal Tires. And Volume 7 of our Lifestyles U. S. A. series shows you why... Bates 11th Back to School Promotion 1949 (color) is a sales pitch for shop owners to stock Bates Fabrics and their line of campus-tested, campus-approved Bates products because the Young Market is a Bates Market! And what's the very first thing that comes to mind when you think of campus life? That's right: bedspreads, draperies, sheets, and pillow cases! Yup, turn those drab college dorms and dull sorority houses into veritable showrooms that are virtually suffocating in fabric - and all in bright gaudy color. But wait! Bates doesn't just make bed sheets and draperies but also dresses which... well, yes, look like they were made out of bed sheets and draperies. But, hey, it's 1949, and everything looks weird! Cooking Steaks (1956, color) features an all-star cast of actors never seen before or since who wallow in one of America's favorite pastimes: eating meat. An actor keeps screwing up on the set of a TV commercial so Mrs. Morgan, a home economist, tries to help by showing us how to roast large chunks of cow because steak always makes a hit! She also shows us how to prepare rib roast, lamb chops, bacon, ham, and the ever popular leg of lamb. Presented, no surprise, by the National Live Stock and Meat Board. The actress playing Mrs. Morgan is so calm and monotone, we would have loved to see her slaughtering a steer. Ticket to Freedom (1960, b&w) deals with the enemies of democracy. No, no, not the Commies, but those selfish bastards who don't vote! Good Citizen KIRBY GRANT (early TV's Sky King) not only votes but actually reads editorials! He's contrasted with people like PHYLLIS COATES who are too damn lazy, busy, or just plain stupid to get off their asses and cast their ballot. Yes, Mr. Citizen, you're a politician too! So stand up and be counted! Let your vote be heard! Vote! And vote intelligently! And try to pretend that your vote actually counts. And what's more American than voting? Why, car culture, of course. So pay attention to U. S. Royal presents Life Protection Tests at Death Valley (b&w) which is actually a commercial disguised as a educational short that sings the praises of the Lifewall U. S. Royal Master tire. Lifewall: a new word in you language means a completely new safety in your life. Similarly, Blowout Prevention (b&w) - which details the Big Bulge Test - shills for the U. S. Royal Lifetube, a miracle of nylon and rubber, and The Tire That Changes Everything (b&w) waxes rhapsodic over the Mid Century Royal Master. Tires so wonderful, you'll want to wear one yourself! Our Changing Family Life (b&w, 1957) is a wonderful mix of Americana and truly awful acting - hey, look, ALICE GHOSTLEY! - which chronicles 75 years of American life and turns the complexities of the family as a social institution and one-time economic unit into calm, soothing images even when the topic gets grim. Finally, The Greatest Show on Water (color) highlights the Southern belles and aqua-acrobatics of Florida's Cypress Gardens, and features all kinds of damn foolish stunts done on water. Kids, don't try this at home! - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7733 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Lifestyles U.S.A. V08
What It Means to be American, Our Basic Civil Rights, The Revolt of Charlie Winters, Too Good To Be True, The Enchanted Pot, This Is My Land
Uncle Sam Wants You... to take another tour of Nostalgic Americana with this 8th volume of Lifestyles U. S. A., the series that will turn you into Good Americans and Better Consumers (which are, of course, synonymous)... What It Means to be American (color) mixes picture-postcard views of America with powder-puff propaganda to explain how great it is to live here and how rotten it is to live over there. We see a Typical American Family on a Northwestern fruit farm and are reminded that even small children feel free to speak their own opinions in an American home! An Afro-American leads a team of carpenters building a house: There is a carefree atmosphere not found in countries controlled by a dictatorship! And scene after scene of friendly cops, rural neighborhoods, and waterfalls are accompanied by patriotic babble: In America, we like to go to church! No poverty, crime, race riots, bars, or drugs - just happy citizens enjoying life in the good ol' U. S. of A.: In America, it is necessary for each person to do his part and do it cheerfully! Watch this then take a Loyalty Oath. Our Basic Civil Rights (b&w) are simplistically explained by a court judge to a group of high school students following the trial and release of a man arrested for handing out leaflets in Small Town U. S. A. It's all rather perfunctory until a brief but wonderfully nightmarish Kafkaesque moment when the same trial is shown with the defendant denied his rights: Your honor, may I ask for a trial by jury and a lawyer to defend me? Certainly not! There is no defense! The court finds you guilty! Now that's justice! The Revolt of Charlie Winters (color) concerns the Parts Manager of a badly-run auto supply store. Frustrated by lazy workers, a demanding boss, workplace inefficiency, and even his annoying Uncle Arthur, the overworked Charlie decides to revolt. Since this was made by the Parts and Accessories Sales Department of Ford Motors, it isn't terribly surprising that Charlie's revolution is to quickly reorganize the work staff and turn a sloppy shop into a profitable business. Of course, today Charlie would simply arm himself and go postal. Too Good To Be True (color) warns about the Bait & Switch scams unscrupulous salesmen con consumers with. Fighting this racket is Mr. Campbell from the Better Business Bureau and BUD COLLYER, host of the early TV shows Beat the Clock and To Tell The Truth, and the voice of Superman on radio and in the Fleischer cartoons. After we see items that are nailed to the floor and the rotten rebuilt sewing machine deal, the biggest con comes when it's revealed that Mr. Campbell isn't really from the BBB, but is actually actor HERBERT NELSON. The Enchanted Pot (color) features a talking pot - a fairy god-pot - who gives cooking suggestions to a happy housewife. It's all set to music and, in its own peculiar way, quite terrifying. This Is My Land (color) perfectly fuses Patriotism with Capitalism as it explains how this great big beautiful land of ours - specifically Southern California - can be bought and sold. But watch out for the horror of Unknown Heirs.... - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7724 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Lifestyles U.S.A. V09
The Importance of Selling, The Head Man, The Velvet Glove, Voting Procedures, What Mr. Bell Had in Mind, What Is a House?, Help Yourself, Defining Democracy
Think of America and you immediately think of the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, The Bill of Rights... and Chevrolet Motors, who produced four of the seven shorts in this 9th volume of our Lifestyles U. S. A. series. The Importance of Selling (b&w) is a celebration of Capitalism, 1952. A montage of Americans buying things from stores, catalogs, and vending machines is meant to convey the Ultimate Freedom democracy has to offer: The freedom to decide whether, when, what, and which to buy! And in the 1950's post-war economic boom, the salesman is actually seen as not only something good, but an important national figure. So go ahead. It's your patriotic duty to buy that washing machine! The Head Man (b&w) stars fussy, prune-faced Hollywood veteran EDWARD EVERETT HORTON (Here Comes Mr. Jordan) as Henry Witherspoon, a man beset by bad service - a waitress ignores him, a slimy suit salesman cons him, the butcher favors a pretty woman over him - until Henry becomes so angry that his wife fears he'll become violent. In fact, there's actually a truly bizarre hallucinatory moment when the severed heads of the waitress, suit salesman, and butcher are stuffed and mounted like deer heads on Henry's wall! But relax, it's all just a way for Chevrolet to demonstrate good customer service. The Velvet Glove (b&w) extols the joys of Chevrolet's new mechanical wonder, the Powerglide automatic transmission: Full engine power under tip toe control! And look, there's even a new gear shift position: Park! Ah, yes, there's nothing as magical as N, D, L, and R, and there's never been an auto as elegant and as easy to handle as a clunky old '51 Chevy. Voting Procedures (b&w) first shows bad actors who sound like zombies with Indiana accents demonstrating voter registration, before we get careful explanations of how voting machines work and how to make a proper X on a paper ballot. Of course, nothing here applies to Florida. What Mr. Bell Had in Mind (b&w) features DON AMECHE recreating his famous movie role as Alexander Graham Bell in a short made by Chevrolet about proper telephone etiquette. Which is Chevy's way of explaining that, hey, you can't buy cars over the damn phone! What Is a House? (color) basically says that houses made in the good old days were lousy while today's modern homes are better, especially if they're expensive, glamorous, individualistic, custom-designed show-palaces. Presented, no surprise, by The American Institute of Architects. Help Yourself (b&w) has an average American couple walk into a surreal auto showroom and custom design the perfect car. Panoramic visibility and smooth sure stops all add up to only one thing: why, a 1959 Chevy, of course! Defining Democracy (b&w) compares democracy with despotism by contrasting us with those scary countries overseas: PAUL FORD sits calmly in a seat of government here while Hitler yells and screams over there. But watch out, the enemies of a democratic society are lurking right in Small Town U. S. A..... - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7735 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Lifestyles U.S.A. V10
It's Everybody's Business, Prospecting, Trouble in Paradise, Talking of Tomorrow, Treat Her with Care, Help Wanted: Secretary, Age of Specialization, O'Mara's Chain Reaction, The American Family
Don't think of this as simply Vol. 10 of our Lifestyles U. S. A. series. Think of it as a visual instruction manual on how to be a Good American. Three cheers for the red, white, and blue! It's Everybody's Business (color) as great stylized animation describes the perils of building up a business only to be clobbered by the competition. Comes complete with money trains, the effects of war (seen as a blood red tidal wave), and a berserk tax vacuum. Odd that something as important and cruel to this country as dollars and cents is made palatable by goofy cartoon characters. Prospecting (b&w) is a creepy cartoon for salesmen that offers tips on how to find new customers... which, in essence, recommends eavesdropping, snooping around, and butting in on people's privacy. Trouble in Paradise (color) mixes the grim facts about inflation, rising costs, the national debt, and the shrinking dollar with Saturday-morning-style cartoon animation so as to not frighten impressionable adults. Talking of Tomorrow (color) is a Jetsons-style cartoon peek into the future as a mad scientist calls his nephew at Bell Telephone and gets the lowdown on flying cars, picture phones, heli-cycles, wrist-watch radios, and calls to outer space via an optical laser. By the way, exactly when is The Future supposed to start? Treat Her with Care (b&w) is Sixties sexism set to music which strongly suggests that women customers should be treated as if they were an alien life form: Who ever figured out women? And isn't that ALAN MOWBRAY cleaning a window?! Help Wanted: Secretary (color) is a similarly sexist view of secretaries as a sobbing boss is driven to a psychiatrist because of bad ones he's hired. The first, a real looker, was given the job because she's good looking; unfortunately, she has the brains of a toaster. Number Two is so inexperienced, she's even dumber! And the third is a terrifying, ball-busting old pro who out-bosses the boss. Obviously, office politics were so much simpler back then... Age of Specialization (b&w) shows a farmer at a general store in 1900 telling two old coots about the social revolution in industry that's about to occur, which leads to a number of great stock-shot montages of the 20th century: The whole country's gonna be just like a beehive! Instead of being inspired, the two coots mock him. O'Mara's Chain Reaction (b&w) stars Hollywood veteran VICTOR McLAGLEN (The Quiet Man) as a short-tempered Irish cop in An Average American Town who unexpectedly gives a motorist a break one morning and unintentionally creates a chain reaction of people treating each other right. Oh please. Made by Chevrolet for its salespeople, this one strains so hard for a Capra-esque feel-good flavor that one prays a bomb will quickly drop and blow these damn fools off the face of the earth. The American Family(b&w) is a somber family portrait of Small Town U. S. A. Mom and Granny want to buy a new sewing machine but Dad can't afford it, so when daughter Mary spends a wad on a dress, Dad screams and Mary runs away. An interesting fusion of sitcom values with a scary noirish world. - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7736 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

MOM AND DAD

Here is the granddaddy of all exploitation films. MOM & DAD tells the story of a good girl whose hormones lead her to a night of passion and a lifetime of degradation. After going all the way with her boyfriend, our heroine finds herself pregnant and must face up to her friends and family. Conveniently, the guy who got her in trouble gets himself killed so that no marriage is possible. Oh, if they only listened to the local hygiene teacher who wanted to teach sex education in school! This is the complete version of the film and includes the notorious birth-of-a-baby sequence as well as interruptions so that a local pitchman could peddle sex manuals to the audience. Directed by William Beaudine. B&W
Code: VD030 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $19.99

Sex Hygiene Scare Films V01
Forbidden Desire, Know for Sure, Human Reproduction, Sex Hygiene, A Quarter Million Teenagers VD - Damaged Goods!
Whether you drop your pants or lift your skirt, the results are always the same: a few moments of dirty pleasure equal a lifetime of misery! So, quick, before temptation beckons, watch these Sex Hygiene Scare Films and learn the True Facts about nature's messiest subject! Prologue to Forbidden Desire (b&w) is a short which was added to the head of the 1937 VD roadshow feature Damaged Goods when it was rereleased to theaters as Forbidden Desire in 1944. Meant to update the topic for wartime audiences, and with clips from such exploitation gems as Cocaine Fiends, Mad Youth, and Wages of Sin used as lurid illustration, Prologue features the distinguished American actor (and, not coincidentally, star of Damaged Goods) PEDRO DE CORDOBA who sits behind a desk and gravely warns America of the dangers of commercial vice, hookers, beer halls, white slavery, juvenile delinquency and, most shocking of all, wild jitterbug parties! Know for Sure (1944, b&w) is another warning against VD, this one produced by the Research Council of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the U.S. Public Health Service, with a lot of well-known Hollywood faces: J CARROL NAISH has syphilis but doesn't know it until his son is born dead; WARD BOND comes to Dr. SAMUEL S. HINDS to see if he has a cold sore or the clap; TIM HOLT catches a dose when he visits a whorehouse with the football team; and quack doc EDWIN MAXWELL drives a patient to suicide. There's even a lecture from JOSEPH CREHAN, the fuddy-duddy doc of Because of Eve and Street Corner. So don't be a sucker! Stick to medical treatment and you can be cured! Human Reproduction (1957, b&w) begins as a little boy says, Dad, where do babies come from? Dad looks nervous but the answer is obvious: babies come from a bunch of anatomical models and clinical diagrams that make the human sex organs look like some bizarre Martian landscape. And explaining it all is the voice of narrator SID BERRY, the same guy who guides us through Barry Mahon's fake compilation, Censored, eight years later! Next up is... Oh, God! No! Make it stop, make it stop! Yes, boys, it's the U.S. Navy's 1942 diseased classic Sex Hygiene, which is guaranteed to make even the strongest men scream, gag, and run out of the room. Obviously, the Navy's approach here is to scare guys into an awareness of VD which they do (quite well, in fact) with closeups of eleven separate penises rotting with chancroid, gonorrhea, or syphilis. It is not pretty. Further cruelty is inflicted by watching a sailor inject prophylactic ointment into his pecker. And, hey, remember to clean that foreskin! In contrast, A Quarter Million Teenagers (1960's, color) primarily uses colorful stylized art to suggest the ravages of venereal disease. For instance, did you know that a teen's infected scrotum turns a lovely lime-green? And, finally, things are wrapped up nicely with a mini-version of scare-film specialist SID DAVIS' only feature film, the 1961 Damaged Goods (color), in which a young man's visit to a go-go bar is rewarded with a little sore. Handsome Harry Archer
Code: SW5565 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Sex Hygiene Scare Films V02
VD - Name Your Contacts, Sex in Today's World, The Pick-Up, Boy to Man, Girl to Woman!
Think your private parts are a passport to pleasure? Wrong! Watch this second VOLUME of Sex Hygiene Scare Films and you'll quickly learn that your genitals are, in fact, the gateway to Hell! VD: Name Your Contacts (1968, color) is, like any good Sex Hygiene Scare Film, full of anguish, embarrassment, and shame. This time, however, it shifts the focus from the disease itself to the need to name names: The best way of preventing the spread of VD is by having the victim give the names of all the people with whom he's had sexual relations with. Well, ain't that awkward! So awkward, in fact, that most of this is told with tight closeups of the actors looking positively pained. Of course, the film tries its best to explain why this medical invasion of privacy is a Good Thing: It only takes one person to start a Chain of Infection which can spread to hundreds of people! It's like a chain reaction! Which is why Mr. Roberts informs them about Betty who also infected Philip who also infected Laura who also infected her fiancé... And then there's poor George who starts lying about girls he's had sex with because he doesn't want to admit he's gay. Hey, George, homos get gonorrhea too! Remember, a misguided and false sense of protection can only ruin someone else's life! Sex in Today's World (color), an examination of sex in the 1960's, is a time capsule which neatly captures many of the conflicting attitudes of a cross section of people doctor, psychologist, professors, students, and preachers caught in the sexual turbulence of 1966. The so-called Sexual Revolution happened so quickly and with such across-the-board pervasiveness that this little film, like most of the people interviewed, seems not only dazed, but trying to catch its breath. It also includes some great glimpses of mid-sixties adult book stores, 42nd Street in its glorious grindhouse heyday, Bunnies doing a go-go at a Playboy Club and, most surprising of all, concert footage of FRANK ZAPPA and THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION! The inevitable conclusion: Yeah, there's sure a lot of sex out there! Pick-Up (1944, b&w), an Official Training Film of the U.S. Army, chronicles the sorry fate of Corporal John Green who, after waiting six months for a furlough, meets nice girl Ann at a train station and, apparently, does her in a park. Five days later, the Corporal's caught a fine dose and is pissing pus. As Captain Stevens (PAUL KELLY of Curfew Breakers) puts it, the Army's problem is to keep its men from playing around with the so-called Œnice girls'. His furlough canceled, the Corporal's treatment includes lectures on VD complete with the obligatory scenes of sore-covered penises, as well as very disturbing footage of a babbling man whose brain has been ravaged by syphilis until the Corporal's well enough to be shipped overseas where he probably got shot. Finally, for those going through the horrors of adolescence, there's Boy to Man and Girl to Woman, two color shorts with an emphasis on pubic hair, sweat glands, and zits which probably confused kids even more. Handsome Harry Archer
Code: SW6117 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Sex Hygiene Scare Films V03
VD Every 30 Seconds, This Monster VD, Going Steady, VD Questions, Personal Health for Girls, Family Living and Sexual Education, The Strange Ones!
Thinking about having sex? Forget it. As Something Weird Video's third VOLUME of Sex Hygiene Scare Films proves, it would be a lot easier and far less messy to just put a gun to your head... VD: Every 30 Seconds (color) deceptively begins by looking like a slick TV commercial for a soft drink or jeans before suddenly switching gears and bombarding us with animated diagrams of people with lightning bolts flashing in their infected areas, as well as fun facts like, The female may not know she's infected because there's little discharge, and, frankly, how many films have you seen recently that can say the same thing? With its tasteful mix of stylized anatomical illustrations and the usual photos of hideous sores, this one is obviously trying to scare its audience without sending them into a panic. Oh, and more good news: Even after adequate treatment, you can catch both syphilis and gonorrhea again. You can even be infected with both of them at the same time. Thanks. This Monster VD (color) offers us dinosaur bones for an unusual segue: The chances of meeting a dinosaur in today's world is very slim. But the possibility of contracting another kind of prehistoric monster is all too real. This monster is venereal disease! (I like how they hedged their bets about meeting a dinosaur.) What follows is a creepy teen drama, told in earnest seriousness, of a young man named John who's been going steady with a young lady named Linda. Trouble is, John has VD but doesn't know it until a doctor informs him that he has gonorrhea. Oops. After the usual charts and facts, the doc pressures John into naming names (an unintentionally funny scene). Well, he's only been with one girl Linda. Double oops. The Board of Health then contacts Linda who takes it rather badly. This nicely done mini-drama of people whose lives are falling apart ends with a doctor with scary eyebrows. Going Steady (color) is teenage angst meant to provoke questions rather than give answers. David has been going out with Nancy for so long, they're like an old married couple. Paul, on the other hand, plays the field. Who's right? Hey, as long as their genitals aren't oozing, who cares? VD Questions, VD Answers (color) is an odd change of pace in that it offers the usual True VD Facts accompanied by comical, downright jokey artwork. It also offers a handy disease thesaurus clap, a dose, strain, gleet (a word not used enough), the whites, morning drop, pox, lues, bad blood, siff, haircut, and Old Joe in addition to anatomical diagrams and floating toilet-seat covers. Damaged Goods (color) is yet another mini-version of the classic SID DAVIS VD feature from 1961. Jim and his friends take a break from their girlfriends by picking up four hookers in a Seaview bar and bingo! Jim's pissin' fire. To further depress him, the doc shows him one of the most disgusting syphilis reels ever made featuring rotted tongues, rotted lips, rotted vaginas, and rotted penises that look like knotted rope. Yow! But remember, we're not here to pass moral judgment, we're here to stamp out VD! Watson Pritchard
Code: SW6323 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Sex Hygiene Scare Films V04
Hygiene - War Department Official Training Film, U.S. Navy presents - Hygiene for Men, The Miracle of Life, It's Wonderful Being a Girl, Miracles in Birth!
Going out on a date tonight? Before you do, immediately watch this fourth VOLUME of Sex Hygiene Scare Films, learn all about your indoor plumbing, and discover how easily it can go wacky on you. Remember, biology bites! VD (color) opens with a montage of details from the paintings of Hieronymus Bosch. It's an apt metaphor for all things VD, but just when we think this will remain highbrow, the usual anatomical diagrams start and then... Oh Geez! Here come the diseased peckers! Good Lord! In way-too-vibrant color, we're inundated with festering sores and gaping holes, rotted mouths, rotted tongues, spots on bodies and faces, a woman's body covered in what looks like dead flesh, syphilitic babies, needles collecting spinal fluid, and a woman missing her nose. My God... First short on this VOLUME and we're already wiped out... Sex Hygiene (1941, b&w) is a VD short meant to scare soldiers. Despite the same name, it isn't the 1942 Navy-made gross-out on VOLUME 2. This one was made by the Army and is entirely gross on its own, thank you. It opens with a captain telling his sergeant to show the men a War Department film on Hey! Look! It's Superman! Yeah, look close at the sarge and you'll spot a young GEORGE REEVES (with a dapper moustache) who appeared in a number of shorts made for the military. (Check out G.I. Scare Films Vol. 1 for a film with Reeves and Deforest Kelley.) Anyway, the men assemble and are shown another parade of putrefied penises. The film within the film looks to be of older vintage, but hey, a rotted wanker from 1935 looks no damn different from a rotted wanker in 1941. Hygiene for Men: Personal Health (color) is, thank God, a non-VD short, made by the Navy in 1967, which features lots of athletic young men with their shirts off. Food is compared with gasoline, and a sensible lecture on healthy eating is quickly undercut by closeups of mess-hall food that would scare away cockroaches. Taking showers is a good idea since it's more pleasant for everybody around when everybody around is clean. This is followed by showing what a guy looks like brushing his teeth, cutting his nails, cleaning between the toes, shaving, and putting on deodorant. Mercifully, we don't have to watch him take a dump. The Miracle of Life (color) is all about the birds and the bees and fuzzy animals. Simple charts, statues, and a soothing monotone from the narrator keep things clean and simple though all that plumbing is still a big mystery to me. It's Wonderful Being a Girl! (color) but some of that growing-up stuff is scary. Though Libby still has her little girl looks and shapes, she can't wait to menstruate. So Mom tells her all about having periods. It's kind of icky so Mom also tells her about the sanitary napkin. Then Libby's teacher introduces her to their good friend, the uterus. No mention is ever made of any little boy parts. Finally, The Miracle of Birth (b&w) is a birth reel showing, up close and in your face, a natural birth, and births by caesarean section or surgery. Also, for the first time on the motion picture screen, an actual breech birth! Miracle? Yes. Gross? Double yes. Handsome Harry Archer
Code: SW6324 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Teenage Turmoil V01
Make Way for Youth (b&w), The Cool Hot Rod (b&w), Making the Most of Your Face (color), What to Do on a Date (b&w), What About Juvenile Delinquency? (b&w), The Show-Off (b&w), The Innocent Party (color)
What's adolescent, has zits, hot rods, dating troubles, and VD? Yup, this first VOLUME of Teenage Turmoil shorts, which will make any teen's life even scarier... Make Way for Youth (b&w): Racial tensions amongst youths threaten to explode into an apocalyptic North versus South war. What can be done? Several bright youths devise the Youth Council, a club made up of a coalition of Church groups, Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, and future home makers a truly dynamic combo that will hopefully cool the inferno. A big party is planned, almost thwarted, then finally thrown. Hooray. Scary says: YMCA propaganda, plain and simple! The Cool Hot Rod (b&w): Phil is the new boy in town, and he is thoroughly unimpressed with the way his new town drives its cars. Like a bunch of rich old ladies, he comments. Promptly escorted to Traffic Court, Phil is forced to quickly reevaluate his negative position. This being a SID DAVIS film, fatality is guaranteed. However Sid shows remarkable restraint in this not-so-subtle Hot Rod homage. Scary says: This film was bankrolled by Hot Rod magazine! Making the Most of Your Face (color): Mary has pimples and poor skin. Why? Well, Mary eats too many chocolates and sweet foods. Pat worries that her face is too round, but that's because she wears her hair down. Lucy wears glasses, so she should pay mind to her bangs. How come Anne looks so good? Anne, we are told, gets 10 hours of sleep every night. And on and on and on.... Scary says: Grrrrl Power! What to Do on a Date (b&w): Meet Nick Baxter, who is geeked out to the max. Nick wants to ask Kay on a date to see Wagon Train. She's already seen it, so out comes plan B. A double date! Nick breaks down while gunning a Coke and confesses to Kay: I like to go on bicycle trips, and miniature golf, and weenie roasts and square dances. Amazingly, Kay is up for a weenie roast. Love in the atomic age was truly too good to be true. Scary says: Weenie Roasts! What About Juvenile Delinquency? (b&w): Melodrama is the name of the game in this vintage Centron production. Jamie's dad gets jumped by a gang of thugs. After an exciting chase, Jamie makes peace with the gang and they end up at a Town Council meeting. Teenagers aren't all delinquents! they exclaim. Faster than a cock fight, and a darn sight funkier. Scary says: Hand talking, party rocking! The Show-Off (b&w): Some punk made a mess on the school wall, and the whole incident is giving the Junior Class a bad name. The principal's well rankled, and even the show-off's friends have had enough of his smart alecky behavior. Is revolution in the air? Like all of Centron's best films, this one ends on a dramatic cliffhanger. Scary says: Like Hollywood in Kansas on a bean-pole budget! The Innocent Party (color): VD rears its nasty head in this early Sex-Ed grinder. After a night on the town with some easy girls, Don gets VD. Unknowingly he passes it on to his best girl Betty. After getting some strange red marks on his family jewels he gets a shanker-rattling lecture from his Doctor. Lots of pus-stained close-ups and other images that make you go Owwwwww. Scary says: Jazz-tastic Sex-Ed shocker! Scary Ed
Code: SW7431 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Teenage Turmoil V02
Make Your Own Decisions (b&w), Sharing Work at Home (b&w), Mike Makes His Mark (b&w), Good Grooming for Girls (b&w), Mary's Menstruation Cycle (b&w), Going Steady (b&w), Dance, Little Children (color)
Adolescent angst continues with this second VOLUME of classic Teenage Turmoil scare films guaranteed to stunt any impressionable youngster's growth... Make Your Own Decisions (b&w): Geez Louise! Do you have to ask your Mom for everything? This classroom corker preaches the feel-good buzz that comes from making decisions for yourself. Can brother go to the pictures? Can I go to the weenie roast? It's amazing Louise was able to get a grip on her blazing social life before something really crazy happened. Scary says: More scare film social engineering! Sharing Work at Home (b&w): The happiest-go-lucky atomic family in the history of happy-go-lucky atomic families has an epiphany: splitting the chores can make home a nicer place! Watch as Dad, Mom, Son, and Daughter unite their might to give the nest a jovial once over. Scary says: Home is where the hurt is! Mike Makes His Mark (b&w): Mike may be a hot-headed illiterate goon but he's a wizard with radios. Though he can't see the point in learning about all this History and English garbage, his teachers take time out of their busy schedules to help Mike learn to read. Barely 10 minutes have passed and Mike's attitude has done a 90 degree turn: he can read, he's in the school band, and his old man even gives him the time of day! Watch out for repeated use of the curse word nuts. Scary says: If only teachers cared this much today.... Good Grooming for Girls (b&w): Rosemary is a goddess. How does she manage to look so good all the time? She gets lots of sleep, has a healthy diet, and makes an effort. Knowing you're neat and clean all over, inside and out, lets you forget about yourself and enjoy other people. That's the real secret of popularity! Wow. So this is what they showed the girls while the boys ogled over VD films! Scary says: Wish I could be more like Rosemary! Mary's Menstruation Cycle (b&w): A super frank Canadian film just for girls. Don't let your daughter pick up menstruation tips from mis-informed bratty bitches that tell off-color jokes. Just sit her down and tell her how it is. It worked for Mary! She grows and grows, falls in love with the captain of the School football team, then eventually gets married. Thank goodness someone set her straight on the subject of birds and bees! Scary says: One step over the acceptable menstruation line! Going Steady (b&w): Jeff and Marie are unsure of this going steady business. If other people perceive them as going steady, then are they really going steady? This film makes a clear case for not going steady, and shakes a no-no stick at the very idea of youthful romance. It's hard enough now; what torture this must have been back then. Scary says: Subversive evil straight from the class room! Dance, Little Children (color): Syphilis has broken out in Small Town U.S.A. and is spreading like the plague. Lynne Corwin is infected and has been engaging in premarital sex. Though she'll eventually be cured of the physical disease, she may never be free of its emotional consequences. This classic VD scare flick throws it all into the mix: baseball, surf music, teen dances, hot rod races and ass-kickin' lingo. Scary says: Beware of tall aggressive blondes! Scary Ed
Code: SW7432 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Teenage Turmoil V03
Respect for Property (b&w), An American Girl (b&w), The Exceptional Child (b&w), The Dangerous Years (b&w), Moment of Decision (color), High School: Your Challenge (b&w), Teens: What They Are All About (b&w)
Are you a teen? Do you get into trouble? Then sit right down, watch this third VOLUME of Teenage Turmoil, and become a model citizen overnight! Respect for Property (b&w): Somebody wrecked Tommy's clubhouse. Luckily, Policeman Wally is on hand to dispense saccharine Scare film ideology. Someone then destroys desks at school. Coincidence? No, it was the same oversexed hyper boys. But those desks didn't suffer. They're just public property! says one vandal. So Wally explains the ripple effect of the busted desks. Because of them the library couldn't get any more books, and the taxes went up, and the town got heated. Scary says: Next time, Wally should just shoot them! An American Girl (b&w): This film is dedicated to America's Teenagers and to their Unerring Instinct for Juvenile Decency! Norma is a nice, well-adjusted atomic-age girl. Her diary reveals her confusion and loneliness: Why are all boys called John or Jack? she writes. But before this road can be travelled, the film explodes in ugly religious conflict. No spoilers here... Scary says: Ultra progressive liberal think tank and its all good! The Exceptional Child (b&w): More alarmist JD fear-mongering from scared middle-aged parents and police, presented as a matter of fact document on how to better understand the exceptional child. We are assured that upon arrival at a juvenile rehab institution, most Juvenile Delinquents will be aggressive, nasty and alienated. Rehab or no rehab, these children are not exceptional in any way other than being totally un-realistic representations of what real JDs are like. Scary says: Those social engineering robots are at it again! The Dangerous Years (b&w): Spooky jazz soundtracks this shocking exposé on JD's. DAVID McCALLUM hosts in an Illya Kuryakin take-no-prisoners kind of way that no Uncle fan should miss. Dangerous Years name-checks youth problems such as glue-sniffing, homosexuality, and vandalism. Unrelentingly brutal and chock-o-block full of swear-words, this sweaty-noir serves as a wakeup call to America's disenfranchised youth. Scary says: The strong-arm Man from Uncle! Moment of Decision (color): Wah-wah porno music ignites this wild film on teenage decision-making from SID DAVIS. A multi-cultural group of hoodlums stumble upon a Corvette and ponder whether they should take her out for a joy ride. Some of the teens are pro, some con. Caution is thrown to the wind and the muscle car gets jacked. Result? When they get busted by the cops, they all fall down. Scary says: Fast tunes, fast cars, fast life! High School: Your Challenge (b&w): The arrival of the Yearbook brings up some nagging doubts about High School. Bizarreness abounds as some snotty kids crawl the hallways getting their teachers' autographs. Scary says: Scary seems to remember high school being more challenging than this! Teens: What They Are All About (b&w): Super short PSA reminding us that not all teens are obsessed with gossip, necking, and drinking. Scary says: Most teens are obsessed with drinking, necking, and gossip! Scary Ed
Code: SW7433 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

Teenage Turmoil V04
Dinner Party (color), Review of the Dinner Party (color), How to be Well Groomed (b&w), The Outsider (b&w), Success on the Job (b&w), The Good Loser (b&w), Your Conscience (b&w), The Game (b&w)
It's simple. If you're a teen, you're automatically in turmoil. However, if you watch these films and follow the rules, you're automatically cured. Ain't life easy! Dinner Party (color): If Body Snatchers took over the world and started making scare films, this is what they would look like. Robot narrator, pod people at the dinner table, and rules, rules, rules! Funny, exhausting, and frightening, Dinner Party is the ultimate conformity horror film. Scary says: This is very scary stuff! Review of the Dinner Party (color): Yipes! The Dinner Party may be over but the leader of the robots is here to review things. Did you pay attention? Did you notice that Bob started eating his soup before Betty passed the crackers? That Betty failed to include water glasses after incorrectly placing the napkins and butter knife? And on and on... Scary says: Revenge of the Dinner Party! How to be Well Groomed (b&w): Don and Sue look the type of people you'd like to know, don't they? Well... not really. They are in fact the most boring people in the world. They spend all their free time fussing over the smallest details that we are told add up to the well-groomed image that will guarantee your success. You decide. Scary says: More grooming tips from the temple of order! The Outsider (b&w): Sarah Jane Smith is concerned because she doesn't have any friends. She is an outsider: The one... nobody... asks. Not that it really should matter to Sarah, because the people that shun her are total losers. She cries a lot but then gets invited to a party. This being a Centron film, we are left with somewhat of a cliffhanger ending.... Scary says: Goose-pimple inducing twangy accents! Success on the Job (b&w): Jack goes for a job interview with Mr. Williamson (a Chuck Heston lookalike). The voices in Mr. Williamson's head tell us that Jack is impressive: He has ambition, good grooming, and a good taste in tools. Scary says: Most important question: are your shoes in good repair? The Good Loser (b&w): Marilyn isn't very good at public speaking, so she seeks assistance from all around swell fellow Ray, who happens to be the public speaking champ. After some serious training, Marilyn goes on to defeat Ray in a public-speaking contest, and since Ray can't handle being a loser, he acts like a Big Jerk for the rest of the film. Moral? Being a good winner makes you a bad loser. Scary says: More realistic teenage folly from the wise folk at Centron! Your Conscience (b&w): The narrator informs us that our decision-making process is controlled by a proper understanding of approved and disapproved behavior. Still with us? We then watch several re-enactments to let us know if the people involved have a good conscience. Scary says: Scare Film social engineers dive deep, then surface smiling! The Game (b&w): Maverick weirdness from Canada that looks like it was shot by Jean-Luc Godard. A chain-smoking Belmondo wannabe locks love horns with a pretty waif and they have sex after a wailing beach party. Oh, and its all set to the sounds of raw-garage surf music! Scary says: Party rockin' genre thrashing nouvelle vogue sex-ed blinder! Scary Ed
Code: SW7434 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Teenage Turmoil V05
Vim, Good Table Manners, Right or Wrong?, Legal Age for Marriage, How Much Affection?, Engagement: Romance and Reality, Toward Emotional Maturity, Let's Make a Meal in 20 Minutes, Feeling Left Out?
It's tough being a Teen. Why? Because a teenager's life is often filled with... yes, that's right... turmoil. Which is why every teen in America needs to learn from this seventh volume of our Teenage Turmoil series... before things get worse. Vim (color): All you weaklings out there take cover! Here's A Complete Exercise Plan for Girls 12 to 18 and stuffed to the gills with American propaganda and pig-tailed cuties! Scary says, Exhale slowly, straighten your back... and salute the Flag! Good Table Manners (b&w): Smart-ass Chuck has lousy table manners. He even talks with his mouth full and gets his Nazi Dad mad! But when he looks at an invitation to a dinner party, he meets Chuck-from-the-Future, his truly scary self a few years hence, and learns all about behaving when he eats. Somehow suicide seems a far more appropriate reaction. Scary says, As good as it gets! Right or Wrong? (b&w): Unique Juvenile Delinquent Scare Film which presents a few moral what ifs, then offers some take-it-or-leave-it responses. Surprisingly adult and noir-like in contrast to the usual white-as-a-hen's-tooth drivel. Perhaps the director watched one too many Fritz Lang films before shooting this... Scary says, Very right! Legal Age for Marriage (color): A classroom-set Marriage-Turmoil film starts off with a bizarre comparison of states' laws about the age of consent. Things soon get heated as the class throw bones to the eager teacher who seems positively orgasmic at the rash of dopey sex questions and grassroots liberalism on display. Scary says, Marriage at age 14 is wrong even if you live in South Dakota! How Much Affection? (b&w): Budge Crawley strikes again with this pre-marital Sex Scare Flick. Marion and her boyfriend almost have sex, then spend the rest of the movie looking at each other with googly eyes while voices in their heads tell them it's better to take it slow. Yeah, right. Scary says, This much! #0000 Engagement: Romance and Reality (color): A picture-perfect engagement goes down the toilet when the bride and groom begin to realize there are some things they don't like about each other. Well, duh. Scary says, Less romance, more reality! Toward Emotional Maturity (b&w): Grim and uncompromising horror show from Canadian madman BUDGE CRAWLEY focusses on emotional schizophrenia. A demented teacher attempts to explain emotion by opening up a box containing a snake; a group of teens riot in front of another teacher's house after gossip spreads at a rally; a platinum blonde spots her boyfriend cheating... or does she? They sure don't make 'em like this anymore! Scary says, Emotional rescue 911! Let's Make a Meal in 20 Minutes (b&w): When emergency strikes and a meal must be prepared in 20 minutes, what are you gonna do? This neat little home economics primer fills in all the gaps, and the meal is made with minutes to spare! Scary says, Obviously, ordering pizza never crossed her mind! Feeling Left Out?(b&w): Mike can't understand why everyone ignores him. Could it be that he acts like a jerk? Or that he's still in high school even though he looks to be in his 20's? Scary says, Weenie roast invitation optional! - Scary Ed
Code: SW7660 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00

NEW! Teenage Turmoil V06
Is there really any way to cope with the horrors and frustrations of being a teen? Well... no. But that shouldn't stop you from watching this 6th volume in our traumatic Teenage Turmoil series, and learning some cool tips on coping with life!
How Honest Are You?, How to Find the Answer, Are You Ready for Marriage?, Listening Skills: An Introduction, How To Succeed in School, Better Reading, Overcoming Fear, Practicing Democracy in the Classroom. How Honest Are You? (b&w): After the gym class leaves the locker room, teenage Bob returns to remove something from a teammate's locker unaware that Jim is a witness. Next thing you know, Bob is spending big time while Jim blabs to his pals about what he saw. But, before Bob gets attacked, it turns out he was just borrowing a whistle. Yes, a whistle. We still think he should have been beaten. How to Find the Answer (b&w): What is the Meaning of Life? Is there a God? Is there an afterlife? Sorry, this short can't help you there, but if you're a teenage boy who wants to buy a lathe - and what teenage boy doesn't? - this will show you how to do the math. It'll also help you calculate how much fabric you'll need for drapes, and how many tiles you'll need for a floor. Ain't numbers fun? Whoopee! Are You Ready for Marriage? (b&w): College kid Larry and high-school sweetie Sue want to get married but Sue's parents say no. So they go to a marriage counselor who shows them charts and graphs with labels like Cupid's Checklist and Chance for Happiness which is enough to crush the romance in anyone's heart. Listening Skills: An Introduction (b&w): Huh? What? Were you saying something? Sorry, we were distracted by this film explaining how to pay attention, which also features an inexplicable cameo by some Puritans with scurvy. How To Succeed in School (b&w): Doug and Carol get lousy report cards so Dad shows them how to schedule their day at school by taking them to a printing plant. Since the average teen doesn't exactly thrive in a factory setting, the metaphor's a bit odd, and you gotta figure the kids simply inherited their dad's lack of brains. Better Reading (b&w): Harold ain't stupid but he can't read. So he's sent to a Reading Clinic and given a bevy of tests. The punchline: a kid who has trouble reading is given a pamphlet to read. Hey, guys, it's called dyslexia! Overcoming Fear (b&w): Bill is one of his school's best swimmers but he used to be afraid of water! Rather hilariously afraid, in fact. What changed him? His swimming instructor, Mr. Barker, tells him all about a girl who was afraid of dogs, and another guy afraid of public speaking, then helps get Bill into a pool. Mr. Barker rather obviously enjoys the company of young men in swimming trunks. Practicing Democracy in the Classroom (b&w): In an effort to produce good students and better citizens, this short suggests how students can become involved in shaping their classroom's curriculum. One teenage boy shows his knife collection to the class, while another brings his ventriloquist dummy and - Wait! That's no ordinary student! The kid with the dummy is none other than a young PHILIP MORRIS, soon to become both a TV horror host and spook-show entrepreneur known as Dr. Evil! Dr. Evil in an educational short?! Who'd a thunk? - Watson Pritchard
Code: SW7737 Genre: MQH Genre2: LQL Retail: $15.00