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| David Hasselhoff possesses inhumanly chiseled good looks. | Jack Scalia possesses inhumanly chiseled good looks. |
| David Hasselhoff has gotten more work on TV than in movies. | Jack Scalia has gotten more work on TV than in movies. |
| David Hasselhoff appears on page 133 of Craig Nelson's compendium Bad TV, though Baywatch loses out to Cop Rock in the Bad Drama category. | Jack Scalia is mentioned six separate times in the same book, with special attention given to The Curse of Jack Scalia thanks to his impressive track record of short-lived series. |
| David Hasselhoff finds a new love in nearly every episode of Baywatch, all of whom seem to succumb to some dire fate as soon as he lets his attention wander from each. | Jack Scalia stays loyal to his ex-wife in Dark Breed even after she becomes infected by an alien parasite with an attitude as badass as Jack Nicholson's in Easy Rider. |
| David Hasselhoff's slickest mode of transport in Baywatch is one of those sand rovers lifeguards use on patrol. | Jack Scalia travels in Dark Breed by space shuttle, by hanging with one hand from a speeding truck, and by being dragged along top speed in a detached satellite dish. |